Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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