Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
