Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I will be naked everywhere
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
