Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
