Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
