real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
