There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
