I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i would punch a child for taco bell
i think i have two assholes
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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