It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
