I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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