you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
