Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
