Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
