I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
