So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
