I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
