he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
