we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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