i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
