that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
