that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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