dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
