haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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