ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's blow job season.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
