what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
