Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
