the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
