i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
