ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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