and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
