You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
