before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
im on a boat
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