Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
