On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
