Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
