Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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