You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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