whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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