I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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