I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
