Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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