Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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