One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
