Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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