I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
