I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
