Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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