Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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