Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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