Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I lost the right to judge tonight
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
